Children as Victims of Divorce

Today I woke up to a shocking discussion on the radio about two boys of about 3 and 5 years of age who were being raised by their step-mother. Doesn't seem like much since it is something we see everyday especially in this part of the world. When parents get divorced or a wife dies, the children automatically go under the care of the father's wife. What makes these boys' story unique is that one of the boys lost both of his legs due to negligence, allegedly of the step-mother. Although the media has refused to let the woman air her own side of the story, neighbours have testified to abuse of the children.
Child abuse by a step-mother is a scenario seen almost always in every situation where the relationship exists. It is not always physical and open. It can also be emotional and sometimes the step-mothers conceal it so well that even if the child is to complain, no one believes him. Whatever the type of abuse however, solutions have to be profered. We all know that our pasts shape our future and no matter how hard we try to do things another way, our past experiences always come back to us;influencing the way we think.
The relationship between a step-mother and a step-child can be seen from two perspectives - the mother's side and the child's side. Both sides of the story is essential to solve the problem. While the children complain of abuse from their step-mother, the step-mothers often complain of lack of appreciation. If a real mother punishes her child for not cleaning the table after dinner, it is seen as correction; but if the same happens with a step-mother, it is seen differently probably unnecessary. If a real child shouts back at his mother, it is called adolescent problem; but if a step-child does the same, it is seen differently. No matter how hard both sides try to work things out, they will never be the same as the child living with their mother.
The best way to avoid these scenario,in my opinion, is by avoiding the relationship altogether.
Some men take the kids away in order to get back at their mother forgetting that these children also have rights just like them; and in their obsession with revenge, they are punishing their own children. Love,care, and affection, whether or not parents are together, mostly comes from the mother. And she who has not given birth to a particular child will not have as much love for the child as she who has the child.
The father , I think, is responsible for whatever happens as a result of this relationship. If they insist on having their children raised by one other than their mother, they should pay attention to the very little details that tell what is hidden.
A child that grows up abused, grows up with a seed of hatred sown into his heart. And God forbid that he nurtures the seed into a full grown tree, the entire world pays back.