Sunday, November 7, 2010

Dhul Hijjah: The Virtues of the First Ten Days

Dhul Hijjah is the last of the twelve months of the Islamic Calendar and the month in which the glorious rite of Hajj is performed by the Muslims.

The first ten days of the month are considered highly virtuos and full of Rahma and as such, we are encouraged to inrease our acts of Ibadah during these blessed days. There are qur'anic verses and ahadith that make direct reference to these days, indicating their virtue.

Allah (SWT) says, in His Glorious Qur'an,

"By the dawn; By the 10 nights” [al-Fajr 89:1-2].
Most scholars agree that these ten nights refer to the first ten nights of Dhul-Hijjah. Ibn Katheer also had validated that opinion by stating: “This is the correct opinion.” [Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 8/413]
All scholars agree that if Allah swears by something, it shows the importance of that thing.

And in Q2:203, Allah says, "And remember Allah during the appointed Days"

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Cursing Your Child: What To Know

Each time I lie down to sleep what haunts me is my father's words - his curse on me.

I have been sleepless for the past two and a half years and now he has added to my misery. He probably thought that cursing me will strenghten the relationship between us. It has worsen it entirely. I cannot stand his sight although I force myself to look at him, smile at him, and talk to him. He has made my life a lot more miserable.

The question that keeps popping into my mind is why would a father curse his child so passionately?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Parents: What To Know About Your Child

I have decided to write about things I think will help parents to understand their kids better as well as help them to make better judgements concerning the child. I am not a parent yet (but hope to be soon, insha Allah) and have no idea what parents are thinking when they act the way they do. So, I'm writing to you as a daughter with lots of experience.

My experience has taught me that most parents do not consider what their wards are thinking when they take decisions. Growing up in a typical African-Islamic family (Islamic is italised because praying five times a day and fasting in Ramadan is all the Islam that is practised.),

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Psychological State

If I die today, I know I died because of my father. I have seen how other parents act with their kids and how things happen and I wonder why my life goes the way it does. Is life truly fair? I can't but think.
I'm not a kid. I'm 26 years old and yet my life is as terrible as it can ever be.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Eid Mabruk and Siyaam Mabrour

Alhamdulillah! Allah has seen us through this month of bliss, happiness, and a lot of Ibadah. May Allah (SWT) accept all our Ibadah, our devotion, and prayers.

But now that the month is over, what next?

Certainly not what we are into! The main aim of fasting is to achieve taqwa (piety) as stated by Allah (SWT) in His glorious Qur'an, “O you who believe! Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)” [al-Baqarah 2:183]

In defining taqwa, Umar ibn Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Ubbay ibn Ka’ab (may Allah be pleased with him), “What is the meaning of Taqwa?”

Ubbay ibn Ka’ab said, “O Amir ul Mu’minin, have you walked on a field that had a lot of thorny plants?”

Umar said, “Yes” Ubbay ibn Ka’ab said, “So what did you do?”

Umar replied, “I lifted up my clothes and I was very careful,”

Ubbay ibn Ka’ab said, “That is Taqwa.”

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Preparing For Ramadan

In preparation for the month of Ramadan, the fasting month, also the ninth month of the Islamic Calendar, I have compiled the following to enable us enter into the month prepared and ready to receive Allah's forgiveness and all other benefits associated with this great month. May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) help us in our efforts to earn His pleasure.Ameen.

Whatever we do in Islam, Allah urges us to do with full knowledge and sincere faith. Therefore, before embarking on anything, we will only be fair to ourselves if we seek knowledge of that particular thing. I'll try my best to explain in the simplest of terms what Ramadan entails and how we should fast.

Unlike what some people are made to believe, Fasting is very easy and fun.Believe me!All you need to do is to tune your mind to it. You will not only love fasting, you will crave for it!!!

Meaning of Fasting
Fasting entails abstinence from some or all kinds of foods and drinks for a period of time, which varies depending on the aim of the person fasting. Fasting has been used over time for mainly spiritual purposes. It is also used for body detoxification, for weight loss and a whole lot of other purposes.

Fasting in Islam
In Islam, Fasting is the total abstinence from all kinds of foods and drinks (including water) and sexual intercourse. It does not stop there however. It also involves abstinence from smoking and all forms of behavior recognised as sins according to the Islamic Shari'ah. These include, but are not limited to stealing, back biting, gossiping, etc.
Fasting is the fourth pillar of Islam and fasting in the month of Ramadan is an obligatory act in Islam. It is also called Sawm. Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) gives the command to fast in His glorious Qur'an:

O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint, (2:183)
(Fasting) for a fixed number of days; but if any of you is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed number (Should be made up) from days later. For those who can do it (With hardship), is a ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent. But he that will give more, of his own free will, it is better for him. And it is better for you that ye fast, if ye only knew. (2:184)
The month of Ramadan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey - then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful.(2:185)

Those who are not Mandated to Fast
1. Young Children: These are children who have not reached puberty. For a girl, puberty is reached when she starts menstruating, while for the boy, it is when he wet dreams. These start usually between the ages of 9 and 15. However, parents should encourage their young children to fast so as to get them acquainted with fasting before it becomes mandatory on them.

2. Elderly People: These are people who have reached the stage of mindlessness, that is, people who cannot comprehend what they say or do. For this class of people, fasting is not mandatory and they are not required to feed other people as compensation.

3. The Mentally Unstable: People who suffer from a mentally challenging illness are not required to fast during Ramadan but the person is required to make up for the days missed when they get better, as instructed by Allah (SWT) ". . .but if any of you is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed number (Should be made up) from days later. For those who can do it (With hardship), is a ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent. But he that will give more, of his own free will, it is better for him. And it is better for you that ye fast, if ye only knew. (2:184)"

4. The Sick: This group includes people who suffer from a medical condition that makes fasting difficult. This may also include people who are under medication which is required to be taken during the day. The sickness referred to does not include simple headache or stomach pain due to hunger.
 
5. Nursing Mothers and Pregnant Women: If fasting will jeopardise the health of the baby or that of the mother, the mother is exempted from fasting but is required to make up the missed number of days later on. A doctor's opinion should however be sought as missing a fast unnecessarily is a very big sin.

6.The Traveler: A traveler on a journey, which Qasr is permitted, has a choice to fast or to miss the fast. He/She is also required to make up for the day missed before the next Ramadan.

What to do in Ramadan
During the month of Ramadan, Muslims are required to increase their acts of worship. This can be done by observing the following:

 1. Doing the Tasbih: The tasbih can be done anywhere and at any time - Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, La haula wala quwwata illa billah, La'ilaha illallah. They are very easy and can be done continuosly. You can pick one or all at a time.

2. Praying Salatul Taraweeh and Tahajjud: These are very important and special especially because they are only observed in Ramadan. They are strongly recommended and observed by the Prophet (Sallahu Alaihi wa Sallam). Salatul Taraweeh starts when the moon is sighted and lasts throughout the month (that is, until the moon for Shawwal is sighted), while Tahajjud prayer is observed in the last ten (or nine) days of the month. Taraweeh is done immediately after Isha Prayer and Tahajjud  is prayed in the night(usually from midnight to the time for Sahur).

3.Qur'an Recitation: Muslims are encouraged to recite the Qur'an completely. It is also advisable to read it with meaning so as to increase taqwa.

4.Feeding the Poor: Muslims should spread love across the community by feeding the poor in the community (both muslims and non-muslims). Allah (SWT) commands us in His Glorious Qur'an to be kind to the poor and this is a very good oppurtunity to do that. Allah (SWT) says:
“Worship Allaah and join none with Him in worship; and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, the poor, the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful.” (An-Nisaa 4:36) 

And His word, “Verily, Allaah enjoins Al-'dl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allaah Alone - Islaamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsân (i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allaah, totally for Allaah's sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet (peace be upon him in a perfect manner), and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allaah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help), and forbids Al-Fahshâ' (i.e. all evil deeds, e.g. illegal sexual acts, disobedience of parents, polytheism, to tell lies, to give false witness, to kill a life without right), and Al-Munkar (i.e. all that is prohibited by Islaamic law: polytheism of every kind, disbelief and every kind of evil deeds), and Al-Baghy (i.e. all kinds of oppression), He admonishes you, that you may take heed.” (An-Nahl 16:90)
 

5. Eating with the Ummah: Muslims are also advised to eat together when they break their fast.This spreads love among the Ummah.
 All these are simple things that can be done together with the entire family.

How To Prepare For Ramadan
In preparing for Ramadan, most people forget the spiritual aspect and concentrate only on buying food stuffs and decorating their homes. The Spiritual aspects to concentrate on include but are not limited to:
1.Fasting in the Month of Sha'aban: The Prophet (SAW) is reported to fast more in the month of Sha'aban than anyother month except ramadan. 
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “I have never seen the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) completing the fast of a month as he did for Ramadan, and I have never seen him fasting so much as he would in Sha’aban.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Aishah, the Mother of the believers (may Allah be please with her) said that the Prophet "used to fast most of the days of Sha`ban, but he stopped fasting when he got close to the month of Ramadan." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

2.Increasing Night Prayer (Qiyamul Layl): One may observe or increase the number of raka'ts prayed in regular Qiyamul Layl. This will enable one to be acquainted with long night stands, which will be useful during Taraweeh and Tahajjud prayers.

3.Qur'an Recitation: Muslims should recite more chapters of the Qur'an so as to get used to it before the month of Ramadan.

May Allah (SWT) accept our Ibadaah during Ramadan, before it, and beyond it. Ameen.
I wish you all Ramadan Kareem in advance.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Hidden Message in FIFA World Cup Logo

O.k I don't why we are searching and why we so much believe that there's a hidden message in the FIFA WC logo or what we intend to achieve, but whatever it is, I some people are trying to cause commotion where there is none.

I have seen some reviews and they just sound plain out silly. If you have any idea what is in it, please do share with the rest of us before FIFA or South Africa make a public statement.(If they ever do!)

Friday, June 25, 2010

Fibroids!

A fortnight ago, I was diagnosed with Fibroid. Yes!Fibroid. I had no idea it exists in young ladies. Well, the doc said its uncommon but it does happen.

I was really scared and angry when he told me that part of the causes is if a woman does not get pregnant early in her life. I cried and I still am crying. I can't get the thought that my father has refused to marry me off even though I am ready and already have a suitor. I could have been married 4 years ago, thereby reducing my chances. But he has refused to. I can't stop blaming him. Whenever the thought comes up, I try to suppress it by trying to remember that only Allah does everything but I'm at it again a moment later.

I decided to do some research on the subject to keep my mind off the thought.After all, Allah has not sent a disease until He created its cure. The Prophet (SAW) said,"For each disease there is a cure: and when the (right) treatment is given, the disease is cured by the Will of Allah" (Ahmad and Muslim).

I decided to share my findings with other sisters to enable us to understand more about the subject matter.

FIBROID: AN OVERVIEW
Much to my surprise, fibroids are not cancerous or precancerous. They are tumors that develop within the uterus. Fibroids are common and they occur in a good percentage of women. Fibroids are not life threatening as some women survive all their lives without a need for treatment. They are only treated if the symptom shows.
The growth of fibroids is influenced by the female hormone estrogen and usually shrink at menopause and rarely cause problems after this time. 
Fibroids are growths of the uterus, or womb. They are also called uterine leiomyomas or myomas. The uterus is made of muscle, and fibroids grow from the muscle. Fibroids can bulge from the inside or outside of the uterus. Fibroids are not cancerous or precancerous. (Source: http://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~hh/Zt_uunVwSv2)

WHY DO FIBROIDS OCCUR?
It is still unknown why fibroids occur. Research has not been able to go that far yet but it is known to occur in:
^black women more than white women
^women who do not take in(get pregnant) early (miscarriage and abortion does not influence chances)
^women who start menstruating early in life;
among others. Why this is so, is still a mystery. 

SYMPTOMS
The most common symptoms of Fibroid are:

1. Heavy or long menstrual periods. Periods may last more than seven days and menstrual flow may be very heavy. Some women find they need to change sanitary napkins or tampons so often that they cannot function normally during their period. Heavy menstrual flow can sometimes lead to anemia.

2.Pressure on other organs. Large fibroids may press on organs in the pelvis.

^If fibroids press on the bladder, a woman may feel the urge to urinate frequently. She may pass only small amounts of urine and she may feel as though she has not completely emptied her bladder.

^If fibroids press on the bowel, she may feel constipated or full after eating only a small amount of food. 
^If fibroids press on one or both ureters (the tubes connecting the kidneys to the bladder), they may partially block the flow of urine. A woman may not be aware of this because it often isn't painful. Over time, however, this kind of blockage can lead to kidney infections or other serious kidney damage.


3.Pain in the pelvis. The pressure of large fibroids on other organs may cause pain in the pelvis. Sometimes, if fibroids do not get the blood flow they need to sustain themselves, they degenerate or die. This may cause severe pain lasting for days or weeks. Pain may also occur if the stalk of a fibroid twists, cutting off blood supply to the fibroid. Rarely, a fibroid may become infected and cause pain. (Source: http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/fibroids/fbr_problems.html)

These symptoms may however be a result of other problems, so you may want to check it out with your doctor before reaching a conclusion.

TREATMENT
Uterine Fibroids do not always require treatment. For women who have fibroids but do not show any symptoms, watchful waiting is the only requirement and do not need treatment. For those women who show symptoms however, the medical treatment or surgical treatment can be used depending on the nature of the fibroid.
MEDICAL TREATMENT

Drug treatments 
Oral contraceptives and progestin-only pills can suppress excessive bleeding, and pain relievers such as ibuprofen may ease discomfort If the fibroid is large, your doctor may prescribe a hormone medication to shrink it and reduce bleeding. The problem with these medications is that the fibroid grows back once the drug is discon tinued. The drug can also lower bone density and, with extended use, can cause fnenopausal symp toms such as hot flashes and vaginal drynegs. 

SURGICAL OPTIONS

Myomectomy
In this procedure, the doctor removes the fibroids but leaves the uterus intact. Women who eventually plan to become pregnant may opt for a myomectomy. The proce dure may also be useful for women with multiple or large fibroids. How the treatment will be done depends on the size and number of the fibroids.


Endometrial Ablation 
This procedure destroys the lining of the uterus to halt or reduce heavy blood loss, a common symptom of fibroids. A doctor can use a range of methods, including radio waves, low-voltage electricity, laser energy, freezing or a heated loop. This outpatient surgery requires general anesthesia, but most women recover within a day. After treatment, pregnancy is usually not possible.

Uterine Artery Embolization 
Performed by interventional radiologists, this nonsurgical procedure preserves a woman's uterus and usually main tains her hormonal cycles. A catheter is inserted into each of the two uterine arteries and small partides are injected to cut off the blood flow to the fibroids, which causes them to shrink. Early results suggest that embolization provides effective short-term relief, but long-term results are undear. Because the safety for future pregnancies with emboliza tion isn't known, it is currently recommended only for women who have completed their families.

ExAblate 2000 
This device, approved by the PDA in October 2004, uses an ultrasound beam guided by a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machine to target and destroy fibroids. The technique may require as many. as 50 'pulses, with each one lasting about 15 seconds, and the procedure can take up to three hours to complete. ExAblate is currently not available nationwide, and many doctors still consider it an experimental treatment.

Hysterectomy 
If other treatments fail and the pain and abnormal bleed ing associated with fibroids persist, a doctor may recom mend a hysterectomy, the surgical removal of the uterus. If the ovaries are also removed to reduce the risk of ovarian cancer when a hysterectomy is done, many women enter early menopause after the procedure, which can cause bone loss, hot flashes and vaginal dryness.
(Sources: http://www.onlinenigeria.com/fibroids.asp)

EFFECT ON FERTILITY
The effect of fibroids on fertility depends on a number of factors, such as the size, position, number of fibroids, and whether or not it changes the shape of the Uterus. A research o 23 women by Peter Kovacs, MD, PhD shows that Fibroids in general, regardless of location, were associated with a 15% reduction in pregnancy rates, a 30% reduction in live birth rates, and a 67% increase in miscarriage rates when compared with controls without fibroids. The effect was especially pronounced when submucous fibroids were analyzed (64% reduction in pregnancy rates, 69% reduction in live birth rates, and 67% increase in miscarriage rate). The effect of intramural fibroids was significant but less pronounced (22% decrease in live birth rates, 89% increase in miscarriage rates). Subserous fibroids did not affect pregnancy rates or pregnancy outcome. The analysis did not demonstrate a consistent effect on pregnancy rates and outcomes.

Myomectomy was associated with improved pregnancy outcome when submucosal myomas were evaluated. The pregnancy rate was significantly higher after myomectomy when compared with women with fibroids left in place. On the basis of a small number of cases, the removal of intramural fibroids was not associated with improved pregnancy outcome.

For more information, you might want to go through What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibroids.
I wish you good luck and Allah's help as you search for cure. I pray to Allah that this does not, in anyway, affect our fertility.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Month of Rajab

It has been 5 days into the month of Rajab today, one of the sacred months mentioned in the Qur'an and sunnah. well, I don't really keep track of the Islamic months except the important ones (something I am desperately trying to change. May Allah help us). So, I was alerted by someone, who told me she was fasting the month. I have heard several stories about the benefits of fasting the month of Rajab.
As I grew older however, the stories started changing with most Ulamas rejecting the previous stories I've heard. Since there is so much buzz about the whole issue, I decided to do my own research and develop my own opinion on the issue. You are all welcome to do yours too, though I'll share mine with you.

There is just too much opinion on the matter and it got me confused along the way. I have gone through a lot of opinions and I have filtered them in line with what I believe (i.e according to Qur'an and Sunnah). Islamqa is one site I trust and that was where I started my research. They gave a detailled description  which I think you should go through. Another contribution is given by Islamonline  here and here.

Some of the ahadith I came across concerning the issue are:

1. Muslim, Abu Dawud, and Ahmad reported that: `Uthman ibn Hakim al-Ansari said: I asked Sa`id ibn Jubayr about fasting in Rajab, and we were then passing through the month of Rajab, whereupon he said: I heard Ibn `Abbas saying: "The Messenger of Allah used to observe fast so continuously that we thought he would never break it, and at other times he remained without fasting so continuously that we thought he would never fast.

2. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Fast some days of the sacred months and not others." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2428; classed as da'eef by al-Albaani in Da'eef Abi Dawood.

3. In Muslim, Ibn Majah, and (partly) Ahmad: `Abd Allah, the freed slave of Asma' the daughter of Abu Bakr, the maternal uncle of the son of `Ata', reported:

Asma' sent me to Abdullah ibn `Umar saying: "The news has reached me that you prohibit the use of three things: the striped robe, saddle cloth made of red silk, and fasting the whole month of Rajab." Abdullah said to me: "So far as what you say about fasting in the month of Rajab, how about one who observes continuous fasting? And so far as what you say about the striped garment, I heard `Umar ibn al-Khattab say that he had heard from Allah's Messenger: "He who wears a silk garment, has no share for him (in the Hereafter)." And I am afraid that stripes were part of it. And so far as the red saddle cloth is concerned, here is Abdullah's saddle cloth [=his] and it is red. I went back to Asma' and informed her, so she said: "Here is the cloak (jubba) of Allah's Messenger," and she brought out to me that cloak made of Persian cloth with a hem of (silk) brocade, and its sleeves bordered with (silk) brocade, and said: "This was Allah's Messenger's cloak with `A'isha until she died, then I took possession of it. The Apostle of Allah used to wear that, and we washed it for the sick so that they could seek cure with it."




Other opinions of respectable scholars are:

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo' al-Fataawa (25/290):
As for fasting in Rajab in particular, the ahaadeeth concerning that are all da'eef (weak), and in fact mawdoo' (fabricated). The scholars do not rely on any of them. They are not among the da'eef ahaadeeth which have been narrated concerning virtues, rather most of them are fabricated and false. In al-Musnad and elsewhere there is a hadeeth which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined fasting the sacred months, namely Rajab, Dhu'l-Qa'dah, Dhu'l-Hijjah and Muharram, but this has to do with fasting during all of them, not just Rajab.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Every hadeeth which mentions fasting in Rajab and praying during some of its nights is false and fabricated." End quote from al-Manaar al-Muneef, p. 96

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said in Tabyeen al-'Ajab (p. 11)
There is no saheeh hadeeth that would count as evidence which speaks of the virtue of the month of Rajab, or that speaks of fasting this month or part of it, or of spending any particular night of it in prayer.

Shaykh Sayyid Saabiq (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Fiqh al-Sunnah (1/282):
Fasting in Rajab is no better than fasting in any other month, except that it is one of the sacred months. There is no report in the saheeh Sunnah to suggest that there is anything special about fasting in this month. Whatever has been narrated concerning that is not fit to be quoted as evidence.

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about fasting on the twenty-seventh of Rajab and spending that night in prayer. He replied:Fasting on the twenty-seventh of Rajab and spending that night in prayer is a bid'ah (innovation), and every bid'ah is a going astray.
 Extracted from Yanabi.com

What I have deducted and concluded in the end is that, fasting in the month of Rajab has no special virtues greater than a fast observed in other months. The Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) has taught us to fast Mondays and Thursdays, 3 days of the middle of the month, and/or fasting the beginning, the middle, and the end of each month, and fasting every other day. 

Fasting in Rajab is not on its own haram and when we do fast we should have it mind that we are fasting to earn Allah's pleasure and not for virtues specified by Hadiths which cannot be traced to the Prophet (SAW). 

May Allah (SWT) guide us aright. Ameen

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Kaspersky Review

If you are thinking of installing Kaspersky, hold on and listen to my ordeal. It will save you a lot of time and frustration. Believe me!!!
My brother bought the Kaspersky Internet Security product key and gave it to me. I was really happy because I was using the free avast version. It is automatically assumed that what you spend money on is almost always better than what you get for free, right? Well, I thought so, too! I immediately uninstalled my avast and since he had already bought the product key, I decided to download the free trial version of KIS and insert the product key.

The download was smooth and successful. The problem began when I tried to install KIS. It was a disastrous experience!!! It kept telling me that n error had occurred and that I should restart my computer.Which I did a gazillion times. O.k not a gazillion but I did that a lot of times. But to no avail.




Picture taken from: http://www.raymond.cc/blog/archives/2007/10/15/kaspersky-installation-ended-prematurely-because-of-an-error/


I decided to try the internet and I realised that a lot of people have had the same problem. Pheww!That was a relief, I thought. Solution is not far off. I was wrong! I tried everything I saw on the internet but nothing worked.
Being the kind of person who thinks everyone and everything deserves a second chance, I kept looking for a solution the problem.

After trying for about 24 hours (I didn't sleep) to install Kaspersky Internet Security, I gave up.

Well, now I have successfully downloaded and re-installed my dear lovely avast!

A message to Kaspersky: We have no use for a downloaded software if it cannot be installed.Please make your product installable.

A message to all: I won't recommend Kaspersky to anyone for now; unless I get a different opinion on it, which I honestly I'm hoping for! If you want a workable anti virus or internet security software, try something other than Kaspersky!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dare To Be Different!!!

One of the much debated issue in the world today is the Hijab. There is so much objections to it that so many people have, knowingly or unknowingly, turned a blind eye to its very apparent positive side.

Simply hearing the word "hijab", a lot of people discard it as an Islamic affair. Personally, I feel such attitudes have denied many people the ability to think logically. Hijab has been given so many interpretations in so many discussions resulting in so many mis interpretations. "Hijab", in its real sense means a cover, a veil or a shield. While some arguments are clearly based on ignorance, some are plain out misleading.

Born into an African Islamic family where culture supersedes religion, I was never taught the virtue of using the hijab or the fact that it is mandatory. I grew up thinking that what is accepted in my culture as "modest", is the only modesty I should follow. Subhanallah. May Allah have mercy on us.

As I grew older, I realised that what I consider as modest, I cannot pray in! I noticed that whenever grown-ups pray, they cover up entirely except for their palms and faces. That was when I started asking questions like why do I dress one way when I pray and another when I'm not? Isn't Allah always with me? Who am I deceiving? Obviously myself!

Then again, I realised that whenever a woman dresses in an exposing attire, men are always quick to approach her. This, I consider a degradation. I'm a strong woman and I want to be respected. Not every man has the right to talk to me. And that is a protection Allah has given me through my hijab.

At the age of 17, I decided to take up the hijab but only while going to school. I was in the University then. I wear my hijab when going to the Uni and take it off when I return. I move around the town modestly but not in a hijab. I got used to it along the line and decided to adopt it all the time. It was a huge decision met by so many obstacles. an event I will never forget was my step-mother refusing to go out with me because of my hijab. I pulled it down that day just to go out. I feel so bad about it till today. That was also the day I decided to permanently adopt the hijab. . .and I did! And never looked back since then. Now my step-mother and I go to the same events in different cars. It doesn't bother because, aside from the reward I'll get from Allah, I feel very comfortable and secured. And today, i can stand up in front of all, give commands, and be obeyed!!! It is truly amazing what the hijab can do.




In essence, what I am trying to say is that try the hijab with an open mind. Think of it not as a symbol of Islam but as a fashion statement. Dare to look different. I will suggest a gown.(Its what I wear). It is extremely comfortable and goes with every and any occasion.




Try it!!! Its a DARE.

Unexpected Challenges

Over the past 30 months, I have been suffering from depression. It has been so bad, I wake up every few minutes of my sleep and pray. If not because of Allah's intervention, I would have committed suicide by now. Ya Allah help me, and everyone else suffering from one problem or the other.

I do not blame Islam for my situation even though that was what was used to get me into it. I blame my upbringing and my not-so-Islamic culture. I believe things would have been different if only i was taught the right things while growing up.

While growing up, I was taught that:
(a) The truth always sets you free;
(b) Always accept adults' decision. It will always turn out well;
(c) Be good to everyone.It will reciprocate.
This was what I learned both at home and in school. I was never taught what to expect in real life. I never learned that life is not all roses; the truth almost always makes your life more miserable; and adults almost never make a decision that favors you.

I learned the hard way what life really is! The true picture of life is not what kids are shown. And today, I wonder why.

I have learned that relationships are not rosy; and to get a happy relationship, you have to work it out. I have also learned that the closest person to you is not necessarily your fan; the fact that you are right will not necessarily make you a winner; and the person you trust the most may be the first person to betray you. I have also learned that sometimes to get what you want, you have to lie your way to it.

I have learned much more!!!

And today, I am suffering because I thought that simply by being truthful, things will have to go my way and I also thought that the closest person to me will never betray me. I was wrong and I learned that very late!

I believe children have the right to learn the truth about life before they get to experience it on their own. This will enable them to be prepared for any storm that hits them. If they are not able to avoid it, they will certainly be able to manage it and minimise its effect.
My present situation has taught me to teach my children Islam, show them their rights, and give them a different upbringing.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Children as Victims of Divorce

Today I woke up to a shocking discussion on the radio about two boys of about 3 and 5 years of age who were being raised by their step-mother. Doesn't seem like much since it is something we see everyday especially in this part of the world. When parents get divorced or a wife dies, the children automatically go under the care of the father's wife. What makes these boys' story unique is that one of the boys lost both of his legs due to negligence, allegedly of the step-mother. Although the media has refused to let the woman air her own side of the story, neighbours have testified to abuse of the children.
Child abuse by a step-mother is a scenario seen almost always in every situation where the relationship exists. It is not always physical and open. It can also be emotional and sometimes the step-mothers conceal it so well that even if the child is to complain, no one believes him. Whatever the type of abuse however, solutions have to be profered. We all know that our pasts shape our future and no matter how hard we try to do things another way, our past experiences always come back to us;influencing the way we think.
The relationship between a step-mother and a step-child can be seen from two perspectives - the mother's side and the child's side. Both sides of the story is essential to solve the problem. While the children complain of abuse from their step-mother, the step-mothers often complain of lack of appreciation. If a real mother punishes her child for not cleaning the table after dinner, it is seen as correction; but if the same happens with a step-mother, it is seen differently probably unnecessary. If a real child shouts back at his mother, it is called adolescent problem; but if a step-child does the same, it is seen differently. No matter how hard both sides try to work things out, they will never be the same as the child living with their mother.
The best way to avoid these scenario,in my opinion, is by avoiding the relationship altogether.
Some men take the kids away in order to get back at their mother forgetting that these children also have rights just like them; and in their obsession with revenge, they are punishing their own children. Love,care, and affection, whether or not parents are together, mostly comes from the mother. And she who has not given birth to a particular child will not have as much love for the child as she who has the child.
The father , I think, is responsible for whatever happens as a result of this relationship. If they insist on having their children raised by one other than their mother, they should pay attention to the very little details that tell what is hidden.
A child that grows up abused, grows up with a seed of hatred sown into his heart. And God forbid that he nurtures the seed into a full grown tree, the entire world pays back.

Assalam Alaikum and Welcome

Assalam Alaikum and welcome to my blog. I have set this up to discuss issues related to women in today's world as well as politics, economics, and other current events.Please feel free to raise a topic you need discussed.
We will discuss the hijab, the challenges of wearing it, women at work, in school, in politics, marriage, raising family, cooking recipes, etc.


I hope this blog is fun as well as informative