My Psychological State

If I die today, I know I died because of my father. I have seen how other parents act with their kids and how things happen and I wonder why my life goes the way it does. Is life truly fair? I can't but think.
I'm not a kid. I'm 26 years old and yet my life is as terrible as it can ever be.
Yes. I know there are people making it worse, going out of their way to make my life as miserable as they can.
All I can ask is for Allah to give me the strength and courage to forgive whoever has offended me.
Life has become unbearable. It is terrible and I do not know how much I can take anymore. I'm finding it difficult to move on, to move forward, or to stay focused. It has not happened before to anyone and I don't know why my father is doing this to me.

I feel like life is not fair to me and I cannot ask God why, right? Because he is God and He does as He desires. The world is His and everything hat is in it.
People talk to me trying to hear what I have to say and when I do say something, they change it and pass on the information to my father, who accepts it without thinking about it. Why, I cannot ask. My life is so miserable I do not know how to tackle the issue. I sincerely need help and I ask God for it. Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahlan wa anta taj'alul hazna iza shi'ta sahlan.

I cannot breathe, I cannot think, I cannot live, and I hope for death. Life is so unfair. He said he would never forgive me - not when I die, not when he is dying, not for any reason. Has he ever thought of my own side. I thought God has given me rights just like everyone else, I guess not.

I thought Islam was fair and a fair religion but I am having differing views today. Each time I hear people talk, I rise in defense of the religion but the religion has not defended me. The question I have is are we sent to defend the religion or is the religion sent to defend us. Never before did I think that a day will come when my father will open curse me. Well, I guess the religion has given him the right to do that! Don't get me wrong.I'm a born muslim and have grown up to accept it. Its just that it sometimes seems very unfair. But most of the time, it is the muslims that are unfair and not the religion. They make life unbearable as long as their material aims are achieved. But the religion is perfect and it guides every part of our lives.

What a Father. . .unforgettable!

Ya Allah give me the ability and power to change the things that I can and the strength and courage to accept the things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Ya Allah keep me away from Shaytan and all his helpers.
Ya Allah give me the strenght and courage to forgive the people who hurt me and and forgive me while I strugle to do that.
Ya Allah grant me the ability to be fair to everyone around me especially my kids.
Ya Allah help me bi rahmatika Ya arhamar raahimin.