Parents: What To Know About Your Child

I have decided to write about things I think will help parents to understand their kids better as well as help them to make better judgements concerning the child. I am not a parent yet (but hope to be soon, insha Allah) and have no idea what parents are thinking when they act the way they do. So, I'm writing to you as a daughter with lots of experience.

My experience has taught me that most parents do not consider what their wards are thinking when they take decisions. Growing up in a typical African-Islamic family (Islamic is italised because praying five times a day and fasting in Ramadan is all the Islam that is practised.),
I was taught that no matter how you feel about something you should never object to your parent's decision. Typical of kids, I just accepted. I can't say my childhood was a smooth ride, because it certainly isn't. I sacrificed all my happiness and followed every instruction while growing up thinking that since I am following instructions, things will always flow aright. I did not realise that I was making a very big mistake until recently when my wedding and a 3-year relationship was terminated with my knowledge. Yes!You had me right. . .without my knowledge. I learnt of it after the decision has already been taken. The relationship was not started until my father approved of it. Throughout the period it lasted, no one has ever objected; until towards the end when things started to change.
I had no idea what was going on and after the marriage was stopped, the only explanation I got was that it happened because of my submissiveness!!!Imagine! Punishing me for been good. It got me really depressed and that was when I decided to find out the Islamic position of the child - whether or not they have rights; and if they do, to what extent? So I can know how to raise my own children to avoid the kind of childhood I had.

My research landed me on some scholarly opinions, which you can view here Islamqa. There are so many others. I know Islam is a just religion and my rights are fully protected. I have grown up with all that submissiveness but today I have hatred building up in my heart.

What I am trying to say in essence is that, Parents whatever decision you try to take that concerns your child, please endeavor to engage the child in the process. They have their likes and dislikes